I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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