dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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