Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
