I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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