there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
