The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
