perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
