Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
