I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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