no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
