Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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