Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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