Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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