Farmville is her only friend.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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