i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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