I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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