Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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