There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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