No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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