I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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