Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
