I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
