if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
