I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
