the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
In America we eat man semen.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize