Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
