We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
