I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
