my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
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The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
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I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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