So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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