I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.