haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
as a side note pls kill me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow