Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
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Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive