and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
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Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
it's unicorns you uncultured swine