I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.