Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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