Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city