I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
