I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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