I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
