I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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