I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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