Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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