the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize