I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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