Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
