i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
