Your mouth is God's brothel.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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