I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can vaginas get frostbite?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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