I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
