Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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