No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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