Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize