Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
