So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
