you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
