bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
