Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
