Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
