If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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