she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
