I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
