I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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